when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
