Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
