spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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