his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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