i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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