Sponge bath it is.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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