I accidentally burped into my bong.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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