I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
