I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
