I seem to have left my pride at pride
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
