I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
