I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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