the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
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