It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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