ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
