I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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