i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
