Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
