i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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