so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
