It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
