Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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