At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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