Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
