Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
