Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
