Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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