I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I looked at my own cervix.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
