her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
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