This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
