Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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