Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
