Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
