So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
