STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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