He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
