he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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