I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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