You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
