The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
