I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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