So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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