I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
