I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize