She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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