Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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