apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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