Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
