So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
