she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
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Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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