Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
