He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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