fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
