So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Randomize
