can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
