Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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