how hairy? two words: wookie tits
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Come see our sink grown plant.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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