I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that š I went with "no"
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being āgoodā and 10 being ābanging a studentās fatherā, how bad is it that Iām banging a studentās father?
Randomize
