This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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