For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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