sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
