Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
the day after is always just damage control
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize