It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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