After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
