Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
