I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
