playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
