Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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