I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
