what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i love accidental penises.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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