i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
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I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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