worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
