I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Randomize
