Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
