we have officially lost it.
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
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our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
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Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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