dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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