so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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